when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
