remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
