Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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