i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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