Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
