Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
