Do you still have your period?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
My bed smells like the plague
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