I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
