i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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