office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
