how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
