I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
