I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
