You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It's shark week go big or go home
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
