Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
