Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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