Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Randomize
