idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
