Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
