They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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