There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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