your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
