I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
the night ended with taco bell and tears
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
