Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
