they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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