his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
