um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
did you just send me my own nude
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
