You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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