Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Alive.
So much puke
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
