Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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