Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
