If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
