Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Randomize
