What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
