My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
