I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
