haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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