So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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