We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
