Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
