Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
