Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
