dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
True strength comes from lack of pants
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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