Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
