I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
