No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
