This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
