Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
