david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
