i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
