After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
