Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Randomize
