I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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